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November 17, 2005
Bill of No Rights
This has floated around the Internet a while, but if you have not seen it, enjoy.
Bill of No Rights
We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, and delusional.
We hold these truths to be self-evident: That a whole lot of people were confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights.
ARTICLE I
You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II
You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone, not just you. You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots and probably always will be.
ARTICLE III
You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful. Do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV
You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need. But we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generations of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V
You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in government-run health care.
ARTICLE VI
You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.
ARTICLE VII
You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big-screen color TV or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII
You don't have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.
ARTICLE IX
You don't have the right to a job. All of us want all of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times. But we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE X
You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness -- which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
Posted by adrianm at November 17, 2005 09:26 AM
Not much on my mind right now, but it's not important. I've just been letting everything happen without me. I just don't have anything to say right now.
Comment by: Sten24892 at January 6, 2007 06:45 AM
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Not much on my mind. I don't care. I've just been letting everything happen without me , but shrug. Whatever. I feel like a void.
Comment by: Sten51952 at January 7, 2007 07:01 PM
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I haven't been up to anything these days. So it goes. I can't be bothered with anything these days.
Comment by: Sten36413 at January 8, 2007 06:10 PM
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I can't be bothered with anything these days, but shrug. I just don't have anything to say recently. I haven't gotten much done recently. Nothing seems worth thinking about.
Comment by: Sten35134 at January 9, 2007 07:31 AM
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I haven't been up to much these days. Today was a loss. Nothing seems important. I've just been letting everything happen without me these days.
Comment by: Sten47187 at January 10, 2007 03:19 AM
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I've just been staying at home not getting anything done. I guess it doesn't bother me. Shrug. I haven't been up to anything. I haven't gotten much done today.
Comment by: Sten29161 at January 16, 2007 02:45 AM
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I haven't been up to anything today. I don't care. I've just been staying at home not getting anything done. Basically not much happening right now. Maybe tomorrow. I guess it doesn't bother me.
Comment by: Sten4753 at January 23, 2007 05:24 AM
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I've just been staying at home waiting for something to happen, but I don't care. Basically nothing seems worth thinking about. I can't be bothered with anything recently.
Comment by: Sten20833 at January 26, 2007 08:17 AM
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I haven't been up to much today. I've just been letting everything happen without me. Basically nothing seems worth bothering with. I've just been hanging out doing nothing. I just don't have anything to say right now. More or less nothing happening.
Comment by: Sten49847 at January 26, 2007 07:02 PM
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I've just been staying at home waiting for something to happen, but I don't care. Basically nothing seems worth thinking about. I can't be bothered with anything recently.
Comment by: Sten84753 at January 26, 2007 09:49 PM
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Basically nothing seems worth thinking about. I haven't been up to much these days. I just don't have much to say right now. I can't be bothered with anything , but whatever.
Comment by: Sten92755 at January 27, 2007 11:30 PM
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My life's been basically bland today. More or less nothing seems worth thinking about. My mind is like an empty room. I've more or less been doing nothing to speak of. Not much on my mind recently.
Comment by: Sten84092 at January 28, 2007 09:44 AM
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I just don't have much to say these days, but so it goes. Today was a total loss. I guess it doesn't bother me.
Comment by: Sten24267 at January 28, 2007 06:29 PM
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Basically nothing noteworthy happening right now, but eh. Today was a complete loss. I haven't been up to much recently. I've pretty much been doing nothing worth mentioning.
Comment by: Sten32553 at January 28, 2007 07:55 PM
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I haven't been up to anything recently, but so it goes. Such is life. What can I say? Pretty much not much exciting going on to speak of. I haven't gotten much done lately, but I don't care.
Comment by: Sten54970 at January 29, 2007 01:00 AM
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I've more or less been doing nothing worth mentioning, but eh. My life's been really bland today. I don't care. I've just been letting everything happen without me these days. That's how it is.
Comment by: Sten43053 at January 29, 2007 08:28 AM
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I just don't have anything to say , but shrug. So it goes. Not much on my mind recently. I can't be bothered with anything recently.
Comment by: Sten9492 at January 30, 2007 12:30 AM
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I haven't been up to anything today. I can't be bothered with anything recently. Nothing seems worth thinking about. I haven't gotten anything done recently, but oh well. Not much noteworthy going on worth mentioning.
Comment by: Sten67120 at January 30, 2007 06:49 AM
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I've just been staying at home waiting for something to happen. Whatever. Not much on my mind lately. I guess it doesn't bother me.
Comment by: Sten50584 at January 30, 2007 07:39 AM
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I can't be bothered with anything these days, but such is life. I don't care. So it goes. More or less nothing seems worth thinking about. I've just been hanging out waiting for something to happen, but that's how it is.
Comment by: Sten73217 at January 30, 2007 09:42 AM
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Not much on my mind right now, but it's not important. I've just been letting everything happen without me. I just don't have anything to say right now.
Comment by: Sten17403 at January 30, 2007 09:59 PM
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I haven't gotten anything done today. I feel like a fog, but what can I say? I've just been letting everything wash over me lately, not that it matters. Shrug.
Comment by: Sten31610 at January 31, 2007 07:38 PM
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I've more or less been doing nothing worth mentioning, but eh. My life's been really bland today. I don't care. I've just been letting everything happen without me these days. That's how it is.
Comment by: Sten97129 at February 1, 2007 12:16 AM
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I just don't have much to say recently. Such is life. I've basically been doing nothing. Basically nothing seems worth bothering with. Oh well.
Comment by: Sten25565 at February 1, 2007 03:50 AM
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Not much on my mind. I don't care. I've just been letting everything happen without me , but shrug. Whatever. I feel like a void.
Comment by: Sten39703 at February 1, 2007 05:28 AM
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I've just been staying at home not getting anything done. I guess it doesn't bother me. Shrug. I haven't been up to anything. I haven't gotten much done today.
Comment by: Sten18243 at February 1, 2007 08:16 AM
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retty much nothing seems worth thinking about. My life's been completely dull , not that it matters. I've just been staying at home waiting for something to happen.
Comment by: Sten86897 at February 1, 2007 10:15 AM
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I haven't been up to anything today. I don't care. I've just been staying at home not getting anything done. Basically not much happening right now. Maybe tomorrow. I guess it doesn't bother me.
Comment by: Sten65172 at February 2, 2007 08:51 PM
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I haven't gotten anything done recently. I've just been hanging out doing nothing. I haven't been up to anything these days, but it's not important. Today was a total loss.
Comment by: Sten75237 at February 3, 2007 01:12 AM
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I just don't have much to say these days, but so it goes. Today was a total loss. I guess it doesn't bother me.
Comment by: Sten47902 at February 3, 2007 05:40 AM
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I just don't have anything to say right now. I haven't been up to anything recently, but it's not important. I've just been sitting around waiting for something to happen, but shrug.
Comment by: Sten59891 at February 3, 2007 07:28 AM
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I haven't been up to anything today. I don't care. I've just been staying at home not getting anything done. Basically not much happening right now. Maybe tomorrow. I guess it doesn't bother me.
Comment by: Sten4919 at February 3, 2007 11:14 AM
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I haven't been up to much today. I've just been letting everything happen without me. Basically nothing seems worth bothering with. I've just been hanging out doing nothing. I just don't have anything to say right now. More or less nothing happening.
Comment by: Sten64658 at February 4, 2007 12:08 PM
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I just don't have anything to say , but shrug. So it goes. Not much on my mind recently. I can't be bothered with anything recently.
Comment by: Sten46939 at February 4, 2007 03:32 PM
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I've just been staying at home not getting anything done. I guess it doesn't bother me. Shrug. I haven't been up to anything. I haven't gotten much done today.
Comment by: Sten5044 at February 4, 2007 08:35 PM
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I feel like a complete blank, but I don't care. Pfft. I've pretty much been doing nothing worth mentioning.
Comment by: Sten60990 at February 4, 2007 10:56 PM
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I've just been staying at home not getting anything done. I've basically been doing nothing worth mentioning. My life's been pretty unremarkable these days. Eh.
Comment by: Sten70185 at February 5, 2007 04:47 AM
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I feel like a complete blank, but I don't care. Pfft. I've pretty much been doing nothing worth mentioning.
Comment by: Sten44393 at February 5, 2007 06:50 AM
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I've more or less been doing nothing worth mentioning, but eh. My life's been really bland today. I don't care. I've just been letting everything happen without me these days. That's how it is.
Comment by: Sten83327 at February 5, 2007 09:51 AM
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I've just been staying at home not getting anything done. I guess it doesn't bother me. Shrug. I haven't been up to anything. I haven't gotten much done today.
Comment by: Sten43674 at February 5, 2007 10:07 AM
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My life's been basically bland today. More or less nothing seems worth thinking about. My mind is like an empty room. I've more or less been doing nothing to speak of. Not much on my mind recently.
Comment by: Sten86624 at February 5, 2007 07:05 PM
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I just don't have much to say recently. Such is life. I've basically been doing nothing. Basically nothing seems worth bothering with. Oh well.
Comment by: Sten37631 at February 6, 2007 03:25 AM
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I haven't been up to anything these days. So it goes. I can't be bothered with anything these days.
Comment by: Sten36762 at February 6, 2007 07:57 AM
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Comments